Monday, July 18, 2011

Kicking KC to the Kurb in Kauffman

Will the Goldy's Royals draw like this all season?  The answer is 'yes' if the defense is this bad...
Not feeling like doing anything productive on Sunday evening, Goldy and I met up at my chaotic homestead for a 3-game tilt.  I was eager to get back on track after losing my opening series to Keith and them gal-durn Texas Rangers, and Goldy was excited to get a fresh start with a new and improved team. But Ben was seemingly irritated with me from the get-go (when I first won the Home-Away roll, and then jokingly differed my choice), and things just went downhill from there for Mr. Goldsworthy.  Much like Keith seems to have my number,  I seem to have Ben's.  Here's what went down.

Game 1: D.Fister @ C.J.Wilson
The game opened up in most annoying fashion for the hometown Royals, with Juan Pierre drawing a walk, then stealing 2nd, and rolling over to 3rd on a bad C.J.Wilson pickoff throw.  He was promptly scored by a Boring Daric Barton single.  A solo shot in the 3rd by Adrian Beltre made it 2-0, but Goldy struck back with a Torii Hunter solo blast, 2-1. Both starters went 7 innings before calling it a night, but my squad managed 2 more insurance runs in the 8th and 9th, one in part due to a rare Carl Crawford error, while the setup/closer combo of Balfour and Uehara closed it out.
Torto W 4-1
WP- D.Fister; LP - C.J.Wilson; Save - K.Uehara
HR - A.Beltre, T.Hunter

Game 2: G.Floyd @ C.Lewis
Another annoying start to this game for the home team, as Boring Barton walked, Jesus Mauer singled, and then Joey Bats hit a comebacker to Colby Lewis who proceeded to airmail the throw into the RF corner for a 2-base error.  Goldy immediately struck back though, with a 2-run Nelson Cruz HR to tie it up.  The Tigers would not be denied though, and scored another pair in the 2nd (on a base-clearing O-Dog triple and a Juan Pierre soft groundout), and then one run in each of the 4,5, 6, and 9th innings - including a Grandy-man 435-foot Deep Drive HR to dead center field.  ***Bizarre Alert*** With the Royals already getting frustrated in this series, Craig Breslow plunked Adrien Beltre and a brawl ensued, wherein Beltre kicked Breslow and was ejected and suspended for 3-games.  Neither player was injured***
Goldy managed another 3 runs off Gavin, after he went 7+ innings, when Balfour and Uehara again closed things down. 
Torto W 8-5
WP - G.Floyd; LP - C.Lewis; Save - K.Uehara
HR - C.Granderson, N.Cruz

Game 3:  J.Guthrie @ F.Liriano
Yet another tough start for Ben, as Cap'n Paully Konerko hit a 2-run blast in the opening frame for the early lead.  The Tigers scored again in the 5th on an RBI-single from Jhonny Peralta (replacing the suspended Beltre).  A Jeremy Guthrie pickoff throw error allowed Crawford to move up to 2nd and score on an RBI single from Cruz in the bottom of the 5th, but I guys clawed back two insurance runs in the top of the 8th on back-to-back Mauer and Konerko doubles.  With my elite relievers unavailable for this game, Kevin Slowey was given the 8th and 9th to close things out.  After a shakey 8th, where he yielded back the 2 insurance runs and creating his own save opportunity, he closed out the 9th cleanly.
Torto W 5-3
WP - J.Guthrie; LP - F.Liriano; Save - K.Slowey
HR - P.Konerko

Torto sweeps series 3-0.

This was a tough one for Goldy to stomach.  His rolls were generally brutal, and hit the high 900s an awful lot.  In addition, his "B-rolls" were even more brutal, while mine were quite good.  In one game he managed to roll the zeroes 3 times after getting the error roll.  He managed 5 errors in the series, and was caught stealing twice.  Translation - sooner or later this guy's going to have one of those games where he rolls nothing but 120s and 190s.


  1. Four games into the season and I've got Daric Barton fatigue already. Is this some sort of record?

  2. Daric Barton = quite possibly the most boring 2-hole hitter ever.

    Still - if getting on base at a 0.390 clip against righties and lefties is boring, consider him Miles Davis.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.