Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Nick vs. Fish – Vlad Makes His Presence Felt

Nick and I knocked out the final series of the regular AL season at Keith’s house. As usual, runs were hard to come by:

Game 1: Danks at Romero
Fish would take an early lead in the 1st inning with a double by Morneau and RBI single by Vlad Guerrero. Michael Young hit a solo home run in the top of the second, to be answered by Nick in the bottom of the frame as B Gardner walked and was singled in by Valbuena. A similar inning occurred in the bottom of the 4th when Gardner walked and Kinsler drove him home with an RBI single. This would be all the scoring that would occur until the top of the 13th inning when Vlad Guerrero hit a solo home run on a deep drive to center (needed to roll greater than 92, in which a 97 was rolled). Fuentes came on to provide the save. Fish wins 3-2.
Win – Thornton
Loss – O’Day
Save – Fuentes

Game 2: Gonzalez at Peavy
Nick got the game started with a baseball single from Kinsler and worked his way around to score on bases loaded walk by Brett Gardner. Fish tied the game in the top of the 7th inning on a solo home run from Vlad Guerrero. Nick would take the lead in the bottom of the 7th on a two run double by Valbuena. In the top of the 8th, Michael Young hit a solo home run and DeJesus scored on a two out CLUTCH double by Alex Rios. This game went into extra innings as well, and the 11th inning was Nick’s undoing, Rios was hit by a pitch, Morneau had a single, Guerrero had an RBI single, Drew bounced into a fielder’s choice, and Michael Young hit a three run home run. Fish wins 7-3.
Win – Soria
Loss – Bard
Save – Thornton

Game 3: Buehrle at Guthrie
Drinky Cabrera hit a solo home run in the bottom of the 1st, to be answered by Michael Young’s solo home run in the top 2nd. Bautista would take over the game with two home runs, a two run home run in the bottom of the 4th and a three run home run in the bottom of the 8th. Nick wins 6-1.
Win – Guthrie
Loss - Buehrle

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

No Herpes Here! Spencer vs. Fish

Since I'm typing this at work, it's going to be a quick synopsis of the six games that went down in Miltonburg, WI

Game 1 Cliff Lee @ Dallas "Clark" Braden

RBI's from Justin Morneau, Rob Cano, Alex "His name is" Rios and Razor Ramon Santiago were greater than the two solo HRs Spencer got from Derek Jeter and Yunelly the Fly Felly.

W - Braden CG, 3H, 2ER, 5K, 4W
L - Lee 7.0, 11H, 4ER, 1W, 5K

GAME 2 Cla Bucholtz @ John Danks

Powered by HRs from Benji Molina and A-ROID, Spencer's bats came alive in this game.

W - Bucholtz 7+, 4H, 2ER, 4W, 4K
L - Danks 3.0, 4H, 4ER, 4W, 2K
S - Guerrier 2.0, 3H, ER, K

GAME 3 Mexican Mafia Matt Garza @ Gio "Metro" Gonzalez

Great pitchers duel here. RBI singles from Ben Molina and Nick "By Crackie" Markakis were all Spencer needed as Mexian Mafia Garza shut Fish down over 8.2 IP allowing only a solo bomb from Robin Cano. Chris Perez mopped up for the save.

W - Garza 8.2, 5H, 1ER, 1W, 7K
L - Gonzalez 7.2, 3H, 2ER, 3W, 5K
S - Perez, 0.1

GAME 4 Trev "Making a Mountain out of a" Cahill @ Dan "The Man" Haren

Back at Spencer's Fenway Park, Fish put Spency to nigh-nigh. Cahill and Joakim "not Noah" Soria held Spencer to four hits and a Robin Cano RBI single in the 9th does Spencer in.

W - Cahill 7.2, 4H, 3W, 6K
L - Haren 8+, 6H, 1ER, 3W, 6K
S - Soria, 1.1, K, W

GAME 5 Dave Price "is Right" @ Brett Cecil

Tied 4-4 after regulation, Derek Jeter's RBI-double in the 10th won the game for Spencer

W - J. Benoit 3.0, 2H, 3K
L - Aardsma 0.2, 2H, K, ER

GAME 6 Dallas "Who Shot JR?" Braden @ Clifford Lee

Rematch of the aces saw Spencer knock around Braden this time. SPENCER WINS 4-1 as A-ROD and "B-ROB" Brian Roberts both had 2 RBIs apiece. Cliff Lee scattered just five hits over 8 innings allowing just a Vladdy HR, and Chris Perez struck-out the side in the 9th for the save.

W - Lee 8.0, 5H, ER, 3W, 6K
L - Braden, CG, 9H, 4ER, 8K
S - Perez 1.0, W, 3K

Good hard-fought series. SPENCER takes 4 of 6 games

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The Empire Strikes Back

2010 NL Word Series:
The NL World Series was played at the VanLanduyt household in an around the annual Gravy Bowl. This truly was an exceptional series, worthy of being called the World Series and worth the wait:

Game 1: Billingsley vs. Cain
This game was all about pitching. Fish scored two runs in the bottom of the 4th on a Votto single, an Edmonds double, and a Hanigan single. Torto would score 1 run off of Wagner in relief in the top of the 8th on an error from Chipper Jones, but Marmol would come on to save the 9th. Fish wins 2-1.

Win – Cain
Loss – Billingsley
Save - Marmol

Game 2: Dickey vs. Latos
Game 2 was all about Torto. He scored 8 runs – five driven in by Adrian Gonzalez, with Carrol going 3-5, Gonzalez going 4-5 with two home runs, and Thole going 2-4. A solo home run was generated by Uggla and Edmonds in the loss. Torto wins 8-2.

Win – Dickey
Loss - Latos

Game 3: Wood vs. Rodriguez
An excellent pitching performance was put forth by Wandy Rodriguez. He went 7 innings for a left handed pitching without an earned run, only giving up 6 hits. Torto mounted a rally in the bottom of the 3rd inning, when Randy Rodriguez lined a one out base hit, which was followed by a Dexter the Serial Killer walk, single by J. Carroll, walk by Utley and 2 RBI single by Gonzalez. That was enough for a victory. Torto wins 3-0.

Win – Rodriguez
Loss – Wood
Save - Adams

Game 4: Silva vs. Garland
Torto took an early lead with back to back doubles from Stanton and Thole in the bottom of the 2nd; Dexter Fowler proceeded to line a triple to score 2 runs in the frame but that would be it as Garland attempted a suicide squeeze and failed. Torto would score three more runs in the bottom of the 5th, with a triple from Heyword, RBI single from Gonzalez, and two run home run from Mike Stanton. Fish would muster our three runs with a two run home run from Dan Uggla and a RBI double from Jim Edmonds. A bizarre play occurred in which Jamie Carroll and Jason Heyword collided in the 6th inning due to fan noise. Upon inspection, it was not actual fan noise, it was due to the Miami anthem playing in the background http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHGDP0Gvs3Q. Carroll was hurt for one game and Heyward would be down for three games. Torto wins 6 – 3.

Win – Garland
Loss - Silva

Game 5: Cain vs. Billingsley
Excellent pitching was displayed in this game, which would have been boring for for people who are not in the World Series like Torto and I - I think I just said that. Ryan Zimmermann helped Torto take an early 1-0 lead with a solo home run in the 1st inning. However, Jim Edmonds, the MVP for the Series, hit a 3 run home run in the top of the 4th to take the lead for good. Marmol would save the game pitching the 8th and the 9th. Fish wins 3 -1.

Win – Cain
Loss – Billingsley
Save - Marmol

Game 6: Latos vs. Dickey
In a rematch of game 2, Torto would get out to an early lead with multiple singles from Zimmerman, Gonzalez, and Thole, scoring two runs. Fish would answer with a three run home run in the bottom of the frame from whom else but Jim Edmonds. The lead would stand until the top of the 7th when a lead off error from Utley to Uggla would allow Zimmerman to plate him with a double. In the bottom of the 7th, Colby Rasmus would hit a double and score on a Nyjer Morgan sac bunt. Billy Wagner would lock it down in the 9th. Fish wins 4-3.

Win – Latos
Loss – Dickey
Save - Wagner

Game 7: Wood vs. Rodriguez
Game seven fireworks started with a walk with Furcal in the bottom of the 1st , with a single by Hanigan, walk to Uggla, Beltran plated an RBI with a fielder’s choice and Ross the Boss plated an RBI to score two runs. Torto quickly answered in the top of the 2nd with a walk to Gonzalez, single to Milledge, single to Randy Rodriguez, and triple to Dexter Fowler. The score was now 3-2. Fish would rally in the bottom of the 4th, with a single by Hanigan, who was out on the base paths by a ground ball by Votto. With Joey Bats on 1st Base, Carlos Beltran hit a one out two run home to take the lead. In the 6th inning, off of Cueto, Furcal would single, followed by hit and run single from Hanigan, an RBI single from Votto, and an RBI double from Uggla. With Wagner and Marmol on in the 8th and 9th, this would be the end of the NL World Series. Fish wins 7 -3.

Win – Wood
Loss – Rodriguez

NL World Series MVP - Jim Edmonds

.386 AVG, 3 Home Runs, 8 RBI's, 2 doubles

Wednesday, November 2, 2011


Above: Nappy being Nappy!

Nick beats Mario, 2-1. Many records, good for me - bad for Mario, were set! Very memorable series.

---GAME ONE---
Future HOFer Jim Thome continued his race for the 2011 PTPVP, launching THREE homers (ties all-time record) and driving in six runs. The stud veteran also added a double, just for good measure. The newly acquired Drinky Cabrera hit a two-run homer and collected three hits. Ian Kinsler went yard as well. With his offense launching bombs all over Seattle, Ricky Romero settled in, tossing a complete game three-hit shutout. In a spot start for Mar, Brandon League becomes the first ever "LONG" to throw a COMPLETE GAME.

NICK 10, Mario 0
W - Romero, L - B.League

---GAME TWO---
This one will be remembered for years! Nick's team puts up 29 runs, on 29 hits, against Mario. The stats are just silly. Mike Napoli hit two grand slams and breaks the all time record for RBI in a game (with nine)! The Birther Luke Scott hit two homers and drove in six. Jose Bautista had four hits, including a homer, and five RBI. Ian Kinsler had five hits; Drinky Cabrera had four hits. C.C. Sabathia was lit up and earns the loss, but Boone Logan will go down in PTP-infamy surrendering 17 EARNED RUNS in ONE INNING of work. Yuck. My team had 11 straight hits at one point and 16 hits in an inning.

W- Mitre, L - Sabathia

After hitting ten homers and scoring 39 runs in the first two games (both records), my team partied their damn asses off on Saturday night at Pioneer Square in the Emerald City. Did you think they wouldn't? Anyway...my hungover squad managed just two hits vs Carl Pavano during the Sunday matinee (both from Wilson Betemit, who has found god and doesn't drink). Pavano tossed a complete game, striking out seven. Big Papi hit a homer and a double, while Shin Soo Choo added a hit and three runs. Juan Pierre also stole home for Mario.

W - Pavano, L - J.Weaver

Monday, October 24, 2011

On a Collision Course -- Spencer @ Nick

Who's team met this fate? Read on...

Things got real interesting real quick as Nick and I met for the second AL time, pre-Tort Fort last Friday....

GAME 1 Cla Bucholtz @ Jake Peavy

Within the first four batters of the game, Spencer had rolled three bizarres. The last on resulting in a popup between Wilson Betemit and Matt Joyce. The two collided because Manager Nick does not preach fundamentals and no one called for the ball. Betemit landed himself on the DL for (2 games) and Joyce for the rest of the regular season (21 games).
In the game Nick struck first on a Thome HR. Spencer scored three in the Top of the 3rd, Nick answered with a 3-run Bautista bomb in the bottom of the third.
Spencer reclaimed the lead at 5-4 with a 2-run bomb from Big Bad Tex....Hmmmmmmmmm in the 5th. A Shin Shoo-Choo SAC tied the game at 5-5 in the 6th. Nick "By Cracky" Markakis's 2-RBI single in the 7th proved to be the winning hit. Nick did scratch one more run off of Joaquin "Chris" Benoit in the 8th, but failed in the 9th.


W - Benoit 2.0, 3H, ER, BB, 3K
L - Koji Bomb 2.0, 4H, 2ER, 2BB, 5K
S - Chris Perez 1.0, H, 2K
HR - Thome, Bautista, Texieria

GAME 2 - Matt "Mexican Mafia" Garza @ Shawn Marcum

The 2011 AL ERA leader, Shawn Marcum had been eating up the league like Jeremy Jacobs at the high school cafeteria (lol, he had a weight problem). Anyhoo......Marcum in his last start vs. Spencer threw a CG, 3-hitter, so Spencer shifted his lineup and came out swinging bats, like the 1960s Birmingham Police Dept.
The Youkilis Corker (new nickname) smacked a one out single then trotted home on the 2-run crunch from BIG BAD TEX Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. Turned out Marcum from the 2011 playoffs was pitching for Nick this game, and gave up another run in the 2nd on a run-scoring 2B buy Yuni E the Fly Fell-E (wait to you see his .AVE in a bit....scorching.)
However....Nick's merry band of future Hall of Famers, Pronks, Quenchers and Chinamen started taking pitches then mashing.
Garza got a little yippy in the 5th as he plunked John "Jaha" Jaso, walked Big Pronk (up from minors) and Bartlett Pears SAC to move the runners. Brett "Hart" Gardner then smacked a run scoring 1B and Jim Thome did the same thing. Spencer's lead now 3-2.
After that, both pitchers actually settled down. AN RBI SINGLE...FROM A-ROD sealed the deal, and Spencer's closer of the day Matt Guerrier made Nick go nigh-nigh the lst two.


W - Mexican Mafia Garza 7.0, 4H, 2ER, 2BB,5K
L - "Lost ERA lead" Marcum 7.2, 6H, BB, 5K, HR
S - Guerrier 2.0, BB
HR - Big Tex

GAME 3 Dan "The Man" Har-en @ Jeremy "Guttermouth" Guthrie

Spencer was feeling good at this point, a lot was due to the Busch Lite Silo Cans and playing in between a bar and a bowling pro shop, with little lighting.
Action Jackson made love to Vanity, then smacked a lead off single, then stole second. A-Rod got out, Youkilis Corker walked then was forced on a FC by Big Tex. With two out, B-Rob walked the bases loaded. In stepped Nick By-Cracky, out went the baseball. Grand Salami.
A Dominican Daddy Ortiz 2-Run HR the next inning cut the lead to 4-2 Spencer. A Big Pronk HR made it 4-3 Spencer.
In fact, after the first inning Guthrie and Nick's stoppers shut Spencer down.
Nick tied the game in the 5th on a Korean Delight RBI single. Nick took the lead for good in the 7th on yet another Jim Thome bomb. Dude is legit. NICK WINS 5-4.

W - Koji Bomb - 2.0, HBP, H, 3K
L - Benoit - 2.0, H, 2ER, K, HR
S - Feliz - 2.0, 2H, K,
HR -

SPENCER WIN SERIES 2-1. Offically earns nickname of "Mr. 2-1"

Fun series, as always. The environment consisting of a bowling alley, bar w/ curious bartender, restaurant and arcade all together was a little overwhelming, but then I realized how bad Nick's defense and ranges are and I grinned...

Friday, October 21, 2011

I gotcher defense right here!

Future hall of famer, Jim Thome, long before hitting 600 big league homers.

Fish and I each clobbered each other around in games one and two, before we actually played a tight, competitive game in the series finale.


Jered Weaver, recently traded from Mario, tossed a complete game shutout in his first game as a Mariner, while the ever-powerful offense tallied eight runs. Fish’s starter, Gio Gonzalez, was chased after just four innings, yielding five runs. Jose Bautista hit a homer and scored two runs. Ian Kinsler drove in two runs on three hits, while Luis Valbuena and Mike Napoli and Jason Bartlett each collected two hits apiece. Vlady Guerrero was a perfect 4 x 4 for Fish in the loss.


W – Weaver, L – Gonzalez


Fish turned the tables in game two, destroying starter Jeremy “Dimples” Guthrie who lasted just three innings. Vlady hit a two-run homer in the first inning, before Fish added another five runs in the third thanks to a Justin Morneau three-run bomb and a J.D. Drew two-run round tripper. The birther Luke Scott, another new acquisition, hit a two-run homer for Nick in the loss. Trevor Cahill, Fish’s lone righty, pitched a solid game going 7 2/3 innings, surrendering just three runs and five hits.


W – Cahill, L – Woody Guthrie


Future hall of famer Jim Thome hit a three-run bombski in the top of the eighth, against – get this - a lefty, to secure a series win for the Mariners. Luis Valbuena, of all people, hit a solo homer in the first for Nick, before Fish tied things in the bottom of the inning on a Morneau single that scored Alex Rios. “Cranky pants” Shawn Marcum exited the game after just 3 and 1/3 innings and his arm problems look to be semi-serious (out 15 games). Fish got right after reliever Darren O’Day taking the lead in the fourth on a David DeJesus RBI single. Nalco’s employee of the year held the lead until Thome’s moonshot in the eighth. Vlady, finished off his excellent series with a solo homer in the bottom of 8, but Nick’s closer Neftali Feliz shut the door, earning a win in 1 and 2/3 innings of work.

Though he’s known as one of the better in-game managers in PTP history, Fish’s strategy in the bottom of the ninth still has fans talking. His first two hitters reached base before Cervelli sac bunted the runners to second and third. With one out Ramon Santiago attempted to suicide squeeze in Rajai Davis (the pinch runner) from third only to strikeout. Davis was then tagged at the plate and the game ended. Great drama; great series.


W – Feliz, L – Thornton

Nick wins series in two of three games.

Defense matters - Nick @ Torto

Another series update comin' atcha!  This one is from the spacious confines of Comerica Park, where Nick and I played the 2nd of our 2 AL series.  Nick was nearly swept in the first meeting, were it not for the walk-off 3-R HR from one Brennan "The Big Puppy" Boesch.  This time it was Boesch who had hand in ensuring Nick got swept.
Brennan Boesch - about to drop the ball and cost Nick 2-runs, but only before a Mike Napoli error cost him 1
Game 1 - Zack Greinke @ Doug Fister (I hardly know her):
The Tigers jumped out early in this one, getting a Boring Barton solo shot in the bottom of the 1st, followed by 2 more in the 2nd, on a 2-out single from Juan Pierre, making it 3-0 Torto. Nick's batters spent much of the first 5 innings with the bat on their shoulders, earning only 1 hit (a Bautista double), but 5 walks.  None of the uncharacteristic walky-ness of Fister cost him any runs however.  The Tigers got one more in the 4th, on a solo HR from the newly acquired B.J.Upton.  Nick got off the schnide in the 6th, on a Pronk Hafner sac fly.  Nothing doing after that, as lefty long specialist Brian Duensing came in for the final 2 and 2/3rds, and closed it out for an old school save.  It was not without some drama though, as Nick got solo jobbers from Brett Gardner and a pinch-hitting Mike Napoli in the 9th, before Shin Soo-Choo made the final out.  Nick's defense full of low error ratings and 'C' and 'D' ranges seemed to hold up for him in this one, but it wouldn't last.
Torto wins 4-3

Game 2 - Ricky Romero @ Gavin Floyd:
Nick started of with some solid offense, getting 2 runs in the 1st on a Gardner lead-off single, a Bautista walk, and a 2-RBI double by the Korean Delight, Shin Soo-Choo.  However, Nick's lone lefty starter got battered around early in this one, and was chase him after 1.1 IP.  Defense didn't help him early either, as 2-out errors by Romero and Wilson Betemit extended the 1st inning and allowed 3 more runs across homeplate.  The 2 walks into the 2nd, and that was it for Romero.  Nick turned it over to his righty long - Sergio Mitre, who was no better, allowing 4 more runs in by the end of the 2nd, culminated in a 2-RBI B.J.Upton triple.  Nick got 2 back in the 4th on a Jason Bartlett RBI-double, and a bases loaded walk issued to Jim Thome - 7 to 4, Torto.  My Tigers tacked on runs again in the bottom of the 4th (1), 6th (1), and 7th (2),  while Nick mustered only a solo HR by John Jaso the rest of the way.
Torto wins 11-5

Game 3 - Jake Peavy @ Joel Pineiro:
Pineiro, who was coming off his best outing of the year vs. Spence (8+ innings of 1 run ball), was dealing again in this one.  And Peavy, while sharp early had his outing cut short due to questionable defense.  The Tigers got on the board first, on a classic NL ball sequence - The O-Dog singled, then stole his way to 2nd, was sacrificed over to 3rd by Elvis, and then sac flied home by Boring Barton.  The 5th spelled disaster for Nick - after giving up singles to Zobrist and Pierre, Mike Napoli sailed his throw into center on the Pierre steal attempt of 2nd, scoring Zobrist.  Peavy then issued a 2-out walk to Mr. Boring, Joe Mauer sprayed a ball out to left, where Brennan Boesch attempted to track it down (filling in for the previously ejected Shin Soo-Choo, who argued balls & strikes).  The Big Puppy flubbed the play, for a 3-base error, making the lead now 4 to zip.  Mike Napoli attempted to atone for his error by getting Nick his lone RBI of the game, an RBI doubling home of Jason Bartlett.  The Tigers tacked on one more in the 6th (O-Dog RBI double), and the scoring ended for both teams there.
Torto wins 5-1

Torto wins series 3-0

Tough series for Nick, as his high powered offense was limited to just 3 home runs, and costly errors  and base hits allowed due to poor defensive ranges proved the difference in this one.  Ironically, Shin Soo-Choo's ejection cost him any further playing time on Nick's squad, as he was promptly traded to Mario's Blue Jays the next morning.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Put a cork in it Youklis! Spencer @ Torto from the Tort Fort

Another series update from the Tort Fort outing.  My Tigers at his BoSox - Spence took the series, but asked that I do the write up, as he still had to do his for his series vs. Mar and Nick.  I won't waste a lot of set up here, just dive right in.

Say it ain't so Youk - say it ain't so...
Game 1: Joel Pineiro @ Jeff Niemann: This game started off slow for both squads, but things got rolling for my Tigers and Joseph P. Mauer in the 4th and 5th (Mauer RBI double in 4th and Niemann walked Mauer with the bases juiced) in the 5th). Then they got worse for Spencer in the 6th, where Niemann completely lost his composure - giving up 4 runs, 2 on a HR to the Grandyman, and 2 more on a 2-out single from Elvis Andrus.  Spencer mustered 1 run in the 9th off of Pineiro (sac fly from Big Tex), who was then thwarted from the complete game, and yielded the remainder of the 9th to Frankie Francisco.
Torto wins 6-1
Note:  One interesting event of note, was the suspicious bat Kevin Youklis was using during the game.  The home plate umpire must have noticed a sound off the bat from his 7th inning double, and asked for the bat at the end of the game. It was thereafter found to have been corked.
***Kevin Youklis suspended for 10 games***

Game 2: Justin Vargas @ Cliff Lee
This battle of the lefty starters was not the run-fest some might have thought - rather it was a well-pitched duel of southpaws.  Spencer struck first with a solo shot from Adam 'Pacman' Jones in the bottom of the 2nd, and then got 2 more runs in the 3rd, on the strength of doubles from Yunelly "the Fly Felly" Escobar and Austin "Action" Jackson.  The Tigers clawed back in the 5th, with a 2-out, 2-RBI double from Daric "Boring" Barton.  But the scoring would end there, not without drama though.  In the top of the 9th, the Tigers got freshly called up Edwin Encarncion on base with a single, and Elvis Andrus pinch ran for him, stealing his way around to 3rd on the ignorance of Chris Perez.  Denard Span (an A-bunter) attempted to squeeze in the tying run, but tapped it right back to the pitcher for a LEAD OUT (DAMMIT).  Span then stole his way over to 2nd, and the wild Perez walked both Juan Pierre and Daric Barton, loading the bases for Paully "Player-Manager?" Konerko - who proceeded to hit an outfield range to Adam Jones, who made the sliding catch to end the game.  Defense Nick - are you paying attention?
Spencer wins 3-2

Game 3: King Felix @ Clay Bucholz: Another pitcher's duel for this one friends - Spencer got on the board first with an "A-bomb for A-Rod", then followed up with a sac fly from Derek Jeter (following an A-Jax triple).  The good guys struck back with back-to-back solo jacks from Boring Barton and Cap'n Paully in the 4th.  Spence took the lead back for good on another sac fly, this time from Nick Markakis in the bottom of the 4th.  No runs crossed the plate from thereon, although the Tigers had their chances with at least 1 baserunner (and usually 2) from the 4th on. King Felix did his job, Seattle-style, a complete game loss.
Spencer wins 3-2 (again, sigh)

Spence wins series 2-1.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Like Pitching? Read on.....Spencer @ Mario

Mario and I met up for the first time this AL season at the Tort Fort. Here's the details!!

GAME 1 Matt "Mexian Mafia" Garza @ Carl "Boring" Pavano

Game was a tight pitching duel through six innings as both pitchers had allowed on two baserunners each. Pavano started the Top of the 7th by giving up a Big Tex solo bomb. A B-Rob (Brian Roberts) double and RBI single from Adam "PacMan" Jones made it 2-0 Spencer.
A-Rod smacked a RBI double in the 8th to make it 3-0 Spencer. Spencer would add three more runs in the Top of the 9th on a bases clearing double by Action Jackson. SPENCER WINS 6-0
Real story here was Garza who scattered three baserunners and struckout seven.

W-Garza (CG, 3H, 7K)
L - Pavano (CG, 11H, 6ER, 1BB, 4K, 1HR)
HR - Big Bad Tex....Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

GAME 2 Dan "The Man" Har-en @ Brett "Mr." Anderson

This game was the exact same game as Game 1, except Spencer was the hard luck loser.
The only scoring in the game came from Mario in the bottom of 7. Vern Wells, Jose Lopez and Misty May-Treanor's husband all singled to load the bases with no outs. Alexi "Skeletor" "Alfonso Soriano Lite" Ramirez jimmy-jacked a Grand Slam over the CF fence. MARIO WINS 4-0
Again, real story of the game was Brett Anderson. Scattered six hits and walked only one.
Two games. Four pitchers. Four CGs.

W- Anderson CG, 6H, 1BB, 3K
L - Haren CG, 7H, 4ER, 6K, 1HR
HR - Skeletor Ramirez (GS)

GAME 3 Brett Cecil the Turtle @ Andy "Retired Living in Palm Springs" Pettitte

Bullpens were actually used in this game. Brett Cecil, by the way, was replacing the demoted to the bullpen Jeff Niemann.
Score was tied 1-1 after 9 innings. Spencer scored first on a Action Jackson RBI single. Mario countered with a Mags "Not Rey" Ordonez solo HR.
The 10th inning went by without any hiccups for either team. In the 11th, Yunelly the Fly Felly led off with his 4th hit of the game, a double. He scored on Action Jackson's second RBI. A 2-run A-BOMB FOR A-ROD sealed the deal. Joaquin "Chris" Benoit closed the door in the bottom of the 11th. Brett Cecil, went 8 IP, 1ER, 3H, 4BB. SPENCER WINS 4-1. SPENCER TAKES 2 of 3.

W-Matt Gurrier 2.0 IP, 0H, 0K, 0BB
L - Jeff Francis 1.2, 3R, 3H, 2K
S - Benoit IP, 2H, 2K

Aside from the Brewers getting spanked that night and plastic chair wild fire interuptions, it was a good, fun, fast, crisp series between Mario and I.

10-5 now, ya'll bitches!!!!!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Trades, trades, and more trades

This Friday night/Saturday evening at the Tort Fort bore witness to a number of series, played by Nick, Spencer, Mario, and myself (updates forthcoming).  More exciting than that, was the number of trades that went down.  Here's the recap:

Things got started Friday night, when Spencer and I exchanged a pair of centerfielders.
Spencer got - Curtis Granderson (CF)
Torto got - B.J.Upton (CF)

The trades continued in the morning, after a late night Mario/Torto deal had been shelved for the evening:
Mario got - Juan Pierre (LF), Gavin Floyd (SP), and Frank Francisco (RP)
Torto got - Maggs Ordonez (RF), Brett Anderson (SP), and Ryan Sweeny (CF)

Later that same morning, Mario got tradey again - this time with Nick, continuing to retool his entire roster:
Mario got - Shin Soo-Choo (RF), David Ortiz (1B/DH), and Zack Greinke (SP)
Nick got - Miguel Cabrera (1B), Jared Weaver (SP), and Luke "The Birther" Scott (1B/LF)

That's it for now, look for the series updates later on in the coming week, standings to be updated soon.  A quick summary from Friday night has:
Spencer going 6-3 (2-1 vs. Nick; 2-1 vs. Torto, 2-1 vs. Mario)
Torto going 4-2 (1-2 vs. Spencer, 3-0 vs. Nick)
Nick going 1-5 (1-2 vs. Spencer, 0-3 vs. Torto)
Mario going 1-2 (vs. Spencer)

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Don Kelly. Laurent's long lost brother?

Not sure how I didn't see it sooner.  Perhaps chalk it up to his increased playing time in the playoffs with the injury to Magglio, and Leyland's need to platoon at 3B, but Don Kelly of the Detroit Tigers has gotten plenty of TBS and Fox camera closeups.  Jess immediately pointed it out to me - Don Kelly bears a striking resemblance to one Thomas King Laurent.

Exhibit A - Mr. Don Kelly, Detroit Tigers Utilityman Extrordonaire

Exhibit B - Tom Laurent (pay no attention to that handsome Tigers fan in the background)

Tom's long lost little brother (Kelly is 31 years old)? Kelly is also tall and lanky (6'4", 190)  Or am I just seeing things.  You be the judge.  

Friday, September 30, 2011

Mario gets a taste of 'Minnesota Nice', Manny dives onto the DL

Manny being Manny - bumbling around in left field and finding ways to sabotage my team
The last time Mar and I played PTP, it was in Reagan International Airport waiting for our flight back to Milwaukee.  We once again continued our road rolling ways, this time in Roseville, Minnesota over a Summit EPA and a plate of hot wings.  Irritated that both Spencer and Nick sat above me in the standings, it was time to give Mario a dose of 'Minnesota Nice'.

Game 1:  Felix Hernandez @ Andy Pettite
Newly acquired King Felix was finally ready for his first start as a Tiger, and he didn't disappoint - scattering 5 hits over the full 9 innings, and allowing only 2 runs.  Those 2 runs were not enough to earn Mar the win, as the Tiger offense was active early, using a Manny sac fly and a Adrien Beltre 2-run blast to put 3 up on the board in the top of the first.  Elvis Andrus scored new cog Ben Zobrist on a 2-out RBI single in the 2nd, a solo homer by Paully Konerko in the 6th, followed by a Paully RBI-single in the 8th, made it 6-2, and Mario had no offensive counter.
Torto wins 6-2

Game 2:  Doug Fister @ Jared Weaver
Mar felt better about this pitching matchup, as he had his #1 ace on the mound.  This feeling didn't last though, as my Tigers' bats exploded in the middle innings.  My squad got on the board in the 1st again,  this time on another Cap'n Paully RBI-single.  Konerko continued his hot hitting ways, with a 2-run HR in the 3rd.
During the bottom of the fifth, a bizzare roll (and likely a misadventurous route to the ball) had Manny diving for a sinking liner in left, that got by him for a double all score.  The roll for injury proved disastrous, costing the dreadlocked Dominican 30 games, essentially the entire season, unless I somehow find my way into games 6 or 7 in a World Series.
But back to the game, the top of the 6th rolled around, and Weaver got himself into trouble, giving up a 3-run HR to the Grandyman, then a series of doubles, walks, and singles that ended the inning with the score at 8-naught. Fister (I hardly knew her?) was absolutely lights out thru 7, and the pile-one runs kept coming with the Tigers scoring 1 in the 7th, 4 in the 8th, and another 5 in the 9th, the highlight being a Ben Zobrist GRAND SLAM.  Last man out of the bullpen, Franky Francisco, cruised thru the last two innings in Fister's stead, and the rout was mercifully over.
Torto wins 18-0 

Game 3:  Gavin Floyd @ C.C.Sebathia
Now desparate to salvage something out of this series, Mario called on his big bad #2, C.C. to stop the bleeding.  Unfortunately, my squad often enjoys battering around lefties, particularly those with poor hold/arm combos, and this game was no exception.  Mario was out to a 2-1 lead thru 6, but CC was gotten to in a bad way in the top of the 7th, touching him up for 5 with the bulk of the runs coming in on a bases loaded base-clearing double by Beltre.  To add to Mar's misery, the Rabbits were running wild, stealing 5 bases and generally drawing out the game to an annoying length.  Mario couldn't navigate thru my bullpen combo of Duensing, Crain, and Balfour in the 7th, 8th, and 9th, and again went down quietely.
Torto wins 6-2
Torto sweeps 3-0 

And since Manny can't follow the simple instructions we gave him when in the field (just let everything fall in front of you), and is injured for the duration of the regular season, the Tigers will be calling up one Edwin Encarnacion from the minors to fill out the roster.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

APD anytime soon?

The subject of this post says it all. Do we have an APD on the horizon anytime soon?
I feel like out PTP playing has gone by the wayside (the waysides where gay sex happens, not the good waysides like on the way to the Dells).

We need to get some dates thrown out there, so some of us can ask off work.

Personally I have Sat Sept 24th open and October 1st (although there is the WISCO/NEBASKO game we may be drinking at that day.

Let's get our shit together and make this happen!

-Archie Cianfracco

Sunday, September 11, 2011

NL Playoffs - Nick vs. Fish

Phillips Wisconsin

The much anticipated NL Playoff Series between Nick Ewoldt and Scott Fisher was played over Labor Day Weekend. Let me tell you about it:

Game 1: Oswalt vs. Latos

Nick was on the board early with Heisy reaching base on a fielder’s choice and was promptly scored on a Polanco triple. Polance would score on a David Wright double. That would be more than enough for Oswalt as he had it on lock going the distance, 9 innings, 5 hits, 1 walk, 13 strikeouts. Nick wins 3-1.
WP – Oswalt
LP – Latos

Game 2: Padilla vs. Cain

More offensive output here – it started in the top of the 4th with a lead off walk to C. Gonzalez, scored quickly on a two run home run by Prince Fielder. Fish scored in the bottom of 4th with a solo home run from the Hanigans. Nick would score again in the top of the 6th on a two run blast by Ethier. It was answered in the bottom of the frame with a two run home run by Joey Votto. Nick would score his Badger Mutual Insurance run in the top of the 7th on a Infante solo home run, Nick wins 5-4.

LP- Cain
Save – Gregerson

Game 3: Wood vs. Hanson

This was the most important and series changing game. Great pitching would dominate the outset. Fish took the lead in the top of the 5th when T Plush scored after a bases loaded walk. Nick would come back and take the lead in the bottom of the 8th on a two run double by off all people Alfonaso Soriano. In the top of the 9th, Nick brought on Gregerson to close out the game, however he allowed a lead off single to Tyler Colvin, then a bunt single by Nyjer Morgan. At this point, Fish substituted Matt Cain for the Hanigans to try a sacrifice bunt, it was bunted and Nick the option to try and throw out the lead runner or retire the batter at 1st – he choice poorly. Colvin slides in safe at third with the bases loaded and no outs. Votto, a Clutch Batter, rolled what would normally be a foul ball, but with Clutch batter and without the Jam on Gregerson’s card, it turned into a double, scoring two runners to take the lead. Marmol would come on in the 9th for the save. Fish wins 3-2.

WP- Wagner
LP – Gregerson
Save – Marmol

Game 4: Silva vs. Kennedy

Fish would score early in the game with two run double by Jose Reyes. Nick answered with a bases loaded Hit’s Batter in the bottom of the 2nd, but could not muster any additional runs in the frame. Fish broke the game open in the top of the 6th on back to back doubles by HOF players C. Jones and J. Edmonds, then followed by a single from Morgan and double by Hanigan. Fish wins 6 -2

WP – Loe
LP – Kennedy

Game 5: Latos vs. Oswalt

Fish had better luck against Oswalt this time around, with a top of the 2nd RBI double from Jose Reyes and a two run home run from Jim Edmonds. Nick would score one run against Latos, an RBI single from Ether. Marmol would come on to close it out in the 9th. Fish wins 3-1.

WP – Latos
LP – Oswalt
Save – Marmol

Game 6: Padilla vs. Cain

Fish struck quickly and hard in the bottom of the 3rd when Dan Uggla hit a three run home run. Nick answered in the top of the 6th when Prince Fielder hit a two run home run. Uggla responded in the bottom of the frame to hit a solo home run, which was enough to win the game and the series. Fish wins 5 – 3.

WP – Cain
LP – Padilla
Save – Marmol

Series MVP – Matt Cain for the bunt fielder’s choice in Game 3 and Win in Game 6. All kidding aside, the series was very close and all games were very well pitched. Hats off to Nick on the year and the great series!

Friday, September 2, 2011

Coolest Bobblehead Ever?

The Tiger's current AAA affiliate, the Toledo Mud Hens were first brought to national recognition by Toledo's own cross-dressing Corporal Klinger in the oft-funny, sometimes depressing drama-dy, M*A*S*H*.  Jamie Farr played this character, and was actually from Toledo in real life and often wore Mud Hens jerseys on the show.  So check out this (probably long overdue) sweet bobble - complete with matching skirt and the famous M*A*S*H* "this far to" sign.

Maybe you guys weren't fans of the show, but I was as my parents and grandparents watched it all the time.  I always thought Klinger was funny, especially when he busted out the full dress and makeup whenever the big brass showed up at the camp, just to try and get them to classify him as 'crazy' and send him back home to Toledo.  It never worked though.  Sort of an inadvertent "don't ask, don't tell" situation.

Anyways, I wish I could get one of these, but it will likely be quite a hot item, since they are only giving away 2,000.

Monday, August 29, 2011

NL 2010 Playoff Series - Spencer v. Torto

The Marlins breach past Spence and into the 2010 NL World Series
Last weekend played host to West Bend's popular Germanfest and the slightly less popular Rob Deer Super Summer Softball Slam.  Perhaps most importantly though, West Bend hosted Spencer and I rolling out our 1st round 2010 NL PTP playoff series (Marlins vs. Astros).  A hard fought series all the way, we rolled thru 6 games on Friday afternoon and evening, before succumbing to the call of the beer tent at Germanfest, a mere 4 blocks away.  6 games was not enough to decide the series, so an early riser Game 7 was played in a winner-take-all situation.  Here's how it went down:

Game 1: C.Carpenter @ C.Billingsley
Spencer made the decision to have Carpenter be his first starter, rather than rolling with his top ace, Josh Johnson in Game 1.  This choice ultimately allowed for the Marlins to gain the early series lead, as Billingsley pitched a strong 8 innings, yielding only 3 runs.  A 3-3 tie in the 4th, it stayed that way until the 8th, when Spencer desparate to break the tie, pulled Carp for a lead off pinch hitter.  A tie-breaking run was not produced, and Tim Stauffer entered the game to pitch the bottom of the 8th.  Stauffer got beat around for 3 runs, culminated on a Josh Thole double and a 1-run Chase Utley CLUTCH situation single.  Romo came in for the Marlins to get the shakey, but scoreless save.
WP - C.Billingsley; LP - T.Stauffer; Save - S.Romo
Torto wins 6-3 (leads series 1-0)

Game 2: J.Johnson @ R.A.Dickey
Now with his ace on the hill, Spence needed to steal back my momentum and get the series back to Houston with a split.  Johnson did just that, and delivered a strong performance. Conversely, R.A.Dickey had absolutely no movement on his knuckler, and served up BP for the Astros, giving up 7 earned runs in 2 innings.  Spencer cruised to the win, with Johnson going the distance in a dominant 9 K performance.
WP - J.Johnson (CG); LP - R.A.Dickey
Spencer wins 10-2 (series tied 1-1)

Game 3: W.Rodriguez @ B.Myers
The series went back to Minute Maid Park at a draw, with me tossing my only lefty starter at Spence's platoon-less lineup.  A back and forth game, tied 5-5 in the bottom of the 8th.  Spencer took the lead off reliever Mike Adams, with a Pudge single, followed by a J-Rollins triple, and then a series of walks that ended in Derek Lee taking ball 4 to make the lead 7-5.  Johnny Venters rolled through the heart of my order with 3 Ks after plunking Heyward, and grabbing the save.
WP - T.Saito; LP - M.Adams; Save - J.Venters
Spencer wins 7-5 (takes series lead 2-1)

Game 4: J.Garland @ D.Lowe
Now fully feeling the pressure to not go down 3-1, I needed a strong performace from my saavy vet #4 starter, Jon Garland.  He delivered 8 strong innings of 3-run ball, and held on to a 3-3 tie, until a Chase Utley RBI double broke the tie.  The Marlins broke the game wide open in the 9th, shelling Tim Stauffer again for 5 runs, closing the door on any chance of a comeback.
WP- J.Garland; LP - D.Lowe
Torto wins 9-3 (ties series 2-2)

Game 5: C.Billingsley @ C.Carpenter
The last game in Houston featured the two #1 starters again, and again Billingsley had the upper hand over Carpenter.  Billingley scattered 8 hits and a walk over 7+, yielding 3 runs.  Carpenter yielded 3 runs thru 5 innings before getting touched up for 3 runs in the 6th (including a bases loaded walk) to permanently give the Marlins the lead.  Mike Stanton, quiet all series, cracked a solo shot in this one as well, providing a reminder of his league leading power.
WP - C.Billingsley; LP - C.Carpenter; Save - S.Romo
Torto wins 6-3 (takes series lead 3-2)

Game 6: J.Johnson @ R.A.Dickey
The series returned to Miami, and the Marlins had their hopes riding on the Dickey knuckler to take the series in 6.  Robert Alan Dickey had Josh Johnson beat thru the 6th, with a 3-2 lead, but when he yielded the mound to Matt Belisle due to fatigue, the Astros took advantage. Playing for their lives,  Houston made Belisle give up the tying run in the 7th on a Andres Torres RBI triple, and then picked up 2 more insurance runs in the 8th on a Belisle throwing error.  After this, the Marlins went quietly into the night, apparently content to try their luck in a game 7.  Likewise, playing the final innings of this game by reading charts by the light of Spencer's cell phone on my back patio, it was time to beer up in downtown WB, and play Game 7 in the morning.
WP - J.Johnson; LP - M.Belisle; Save - Heath Bell
Spencer wins 5-3 (ties series 3-3)

Game 7: B.Myers @ W.Rodriguez
I woke early for this one, and a groggy, half asleep Nick wished me well and reminded me to not let one 'Randy Rodriguez' lose this game for me.  7 AM rolled around, and Spencer rolled off my back porch like a hobo out of a box car (he decided to sleep outside) to play the final game of the series.  While I believe Spencer inadvertently took this scoresheet with him when he packed up - I think I can recall the gist of this game.  Nick's advice was well taken, as I had stud Daniel Hudson waiting in the wings.  'Randy' gave up 3 runs in 3 innings, and that was all I could suffer.  Down 3-0, Daniel Hudson entered the game.  Meanwhile, Brett Meyers only managed to no-hit my lineup for 5 straight innings.  D-Hud preserved the 3-run deficit until the 6th, when Meyers got figured out (or maybe started tipping his pitches).  Walks and singles, followed by a Dexter Fowler base clearing triple forced Myers out of the game, and made it 6-3 Marlins.  Spence mustered one run off Hudson, before Sergio Romo slammed the door for the series winning save.
Most of the 11,000 Marlin fans in attendance cheered politely, before returning to their various retirement communities.  The remainder of fans were deported back to Cuba later that evening, the result of a carefully planned sting operation put on by US Department of Immigration and Naturalization.
WP - D.Hudon; LP - B.Myers; Save - S.Romo
Torto wins 6-4 (Wins Round 1 series 4-3)

It was definitely a hard fought series, back and forth, with very little margin for error.  Hats off to Nick who 'kept it real' by charting 6 of the 7 games for us, despite being bored for much of our series.  Very few HRs, and only 3 errors throughout.  Good stuff - now its time to relax with the Marlin Mermaids until our World Series opponent is determined...

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Nick beats Mario 2-1, King Felix dealt. Welcome Bombtista!

I improved to 7-5 with a 2-1 series win over Mario last weekend, though the real story involves a blockbuster trade involving the team's disgruntled ace, Felix Hernandez. King Felix had a rough start to the 2011 season (0-3 in his first three starts) and after lasting only four innings in game two vs Mario, the rocket-armed youngster went AWOL on the water cooler, the bat rack and anything else that was bolted down. Rumors are now flying that he landed a bevy of haymakers on the jaw of Les Lancaster, the team's pitching coach, in the locker room later that night. Lancaster was seen on game three wearing shades despite the dreary, rainlike conditions in Seattle. Felix was on a plane, headed east.

Jake Peavy continued to impress in game-one, shutting Mario out through seven strong innings. Nick grabbed the win 2-0, scoring his two runs in the first on a Shin Soo Choo sacrifice and a Brett Gardner single. Gardner worked his baseball jaw to three hits on the day. Big Papi hit a bomb. Ho hum. Daniel Bard locked it down after Peavy's exit, adding two shutout innings. Mario managed just three hits in the game.
W - Peavy, L - B. Anderson, SV - Bard

Mario battered Felix Hernandez for four runs (one unearned on typical, terrible Betemeit defense) in the second inning and another three in the fourth. The "birther" Luke Scott had a two-run double, a homer and a single in the game. Alberto Callapso hit a two-run single, going 2 for 4. For Nick, Ben Zobrist goes 3X4 in his last game as a Mariner. Mike Napoli hit a two-run double. Andy Pettite earns the win for Mario, pitching seven strong innings of baseball.
Mario 7, Nick 4
W - Pettite, L - Felix

Early season Cy Young candidate Shawn Marcum earned his third win of the young year, going 7 innings of shutout, five-hit ball. Mario's starter Jered Weaver pitched well, but earns a complete game loss. Shin Soo Choo had two homers on the day, half of his team's hits. Bard earned the hold and Neftali Feliz the save, yielding nary a run.
Nick 2, Mario 0
W - Marcum, L - Weaver, SV - Feliz

Nick 2, Mario 1

Now entering the Thome/Papi/Batista chapter...


Monday, August 15, 2011

BLOCKBUSTER TRADE! Nick and Torto deal to push towards AL Playoffs

King Felix is eccstatic to hear the news he'll be playing for a real contender this season.
 Although a number of AL series went down last Sunday at Fish's house, the big news was the blockbuster 6-player trade that went down.  Nick was frustrated with his ace, 2010 AL Cy Young award winner Felix Hernandez, and I was looking for a 2nd situational lefty and an ace to lead my staff.  To land said ace, a big bat needed to be in play, and Jose Bautista was in the mix. In what must have been record time, we quickly (< 10 minutes) put a 6-man package together and agreed to a midseason trade.  The transaction was approved by Fish, Keith, and Mario and went thru immediately.  The trade details are as follows:

Nick acquired:
Jose Bautista - RF/3B
Koji Uehara - RP
Jeremy Guthrie - SP

Torto acquired:
Felix Hernandez - SP
Darren Oliver - RP
Ben Zobrist - RF/2B/1B

Other details:  As Guthrie was scheduled to get the next start for my squad, he is eligible to start immediately for Nick's next game.  King Felix needed to rest 3 more games before his next start, so I had to spot start Brian Duensing in Game 1 vs. Keith in my series immediately following the trade, followed by my normal #2 and #3 starters (Pineiro and Vargas).  Therefore, effective my next series, King Felix will get the next start, falling in as my #4 starter for the remainder of the regular season.

A classic Big Bat for Big Arm trade - with some nice secondary pieces attached.  Both teams win?  I think so.  Look for Nick's Bautista-Thome-Ortiz gauntlet we'll have to run (yikes).

Friday, August 12, 2011

NICK SWEEPS KEITH: Forcasting Brewers 2011 fortune through 2010 A.L. Stats (and dice)


Shawn Marcum is a bulldog. Coming off a complete game, 10K, three-hitter, Marcum tossed another delight versus Keith. Marcum advances to 2-0 after an eight inning, four-hit win. Offensively, Big Papi Ortiz hit a two-run single in the fifth and Shin Soo Choo added a solo homer. Keith's main highlight came on a Lance Berkman solo homer in the second inning.
Nick 3, Keith 1
W - Marcum, L - Phil Hughes, SV Feliz

The Mariners received back-to-back strong starts as Zack Greinke hurled seven innings of one-run ball, collecting his first win of the year. Seattle's offense wasted no time, plating two runs in the first. Jim Thome drove in Brett Gardner on a double and Wilson Betemit drove in Thome on a single. Big Papi added a solo donger in the eighth. Keith was held to a lonely run for the second straight game, this time on a Danny Valencia single that scored Big Puma (or as Keith calls him "Booma"). Neftali Feliz earned another save, untouched.
Nick 3, Keith 1
W - Greinke, L - Verlander, SV - Feliz

Ricky Romero and Sergio Mitre, of all people, helped guide Nick to a three-game sweep over a reeling Keith, 2-0. The tandem combined for a three-hitter, pitching to contact, while striking out only three. Wilson Betemeit hit a RBI double in the third and Brennan Boesch plated a run on a single in the sixth. Jon Lester pitched well for Keith yielding just two runs in six innings, striking out eight.
Nick 2, Keith 0
W - Mitre, L - Lester


Carry on...remain calm...

Thursday, August 11, 2011

The Golden Scoresheet

I was in the process of printing off some new scoresheets when I had a couple sheets of gold paper mixed in with the other color (KKK white).

So I decided to design two GOLDEN SCORE SHEETS for the upcoming AL season.

If a golden scoresheet is used in a series and I lose that game, the winner is entitled to the following prizes:

1. A Free Drink or Shot (When Available) ($5.00 Value)

2. 76.6122 Japanese Yen in cash money, on the SPOT!!!!! (Approx. $1.00 US)

3. Firm handshake, look in the eyes and a hearty, deep "Nice game, dude."

Enjoy the added bonuses of the (2) GOLDEN SCORE SHEETS. Just a little something to spice things up in a game, but mainly for shits n' giggles.

-Dewon "D-Ray" Brazelton

Friday, August 5, 2011

Playoff Pitching Rotation Questions

Like this hippo, Skeptical Torto is skeptical this proposal will fly with the Commish...
As I'm preparing myself to face Spencer in the NL playoffs, I came up with a question that I wasn't sure about.  Playoff pitching rotations - 4 guys (check), catcher can go gangster (check), but what about long relievers who did indeed start a number of games, but just not the prerequisite 15.  These 'long reliever' guys have the endurance rating of a starter, and can be used as a spot starter if needed, BUT can they be inserted into the starting playoff pitching rotation?  Commish, can I get a ruling on this?  Daniel Hudson is just itching to get a piece of Spencer's squad in the starting role.  And surely you'd enjoy rolling out Sweet Strassy Molassy as your #4 starter vs Fish.  What say you good sir?

Friday, July 29, 2011

I got yer records right here

Here ya go Spence - you and your horde of lesbian protesters' pleas (weird) have been answered.  The record book is now posted at the very bottom of the blog.  All the AL standings have been updated down there as well.  So take a look, and let me know if there are any glaring omissions or errors.  Anything highlighted in yellow means that the record is either incomplete, or needs to be substantiated.  So feel free to fill in the gaps!  I'm bettting some of the records I plugged in with my own guys as placeholders will be supplanted.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

DC Dice Rollin' - AL Series Updates

More Tigers dice-rollin' comin' atcha!

 The Nick-Mar-Tom-Tort annual baseball trip went down over the weekend (really need to name this thing properly), and our dice, charts, and cards made it past TSA without incident.  My deck of Tigers managed to squeeze in 2 series during some of our downtime, while avoiding the blazing East Coast heat.  Here's the details -

First up, Torto @ Nick:

Game 1: J.Pineiro @ R.Romero
Romero got off to a rocky start here, walking one, and plunking two before getting out of a bases loaded 1st inning jam.  The next inning the Tigers broke through with 2 on the strength of three singles and a walk, and compounded by a Matt Joyce throwing error. Nick countered with a 2-run HR shot by righty-killer Matt Joyce.  A solo shot from Jhonny Peralta and an RBI triple from Konerko and RBI singles from Joey Batts and Juan Pierre was enought to get the win though in the later innings.  Nick mustered 2 more runs, but insurance was later piled on by a Joey Batts solo blast.
Torto wins 7-4
WP - J.Pineiro; LP - R.Romero; Save - K.Slowey
HR - J.Peralta, J.Bautista, M.Joyce, D.Ortiz

Game 2: J.Vargas @ J.Peavy
Jake Peavy looked like the guy we remembered from 2-3 years ago in this one, pitching a no-hitter into the 7th until Joe Mauer broke it up with a single, followed by a Paul Konerko HR blast, giving Torto the 2-0 lead.  Vargas and Koji Uehara preserved the lead, giving up only 1 run - partly due to a Elvis Andrus error in the 8th.  Going into the 9th, Uehara got the 25th out, but Torto decided to hand the ball to lefty specialist, Brian Duensing.  Duensing walked lefty Brett Gardner, and Gardner stole second - and headed around to 3rd when Mauer airmailed the throw into center.  Mike Napoli was then intentionally walked to get to the lefty-lefty matchup and put the double-play into effect.  Nick stayed the course with Brennan Boesch (a lefty who can hit lefties) and was rewarded with a 3-run walk off homerun.
Nick wins 4-2
WP - D.Bard; LP - B.Duensing
HR - P.Konerko, B.Boesch

Game 3: D.Fister @ F.Hernandez
After stealing game 2 with some late inning heroics, Nick felt pretty good going into the game with the AL Cy Young award winner toeing the rubber.  My squad's only hope was to get to King Felix early - and they did. But by sitting with the bat resting on their shoulders.  Andrus led off the game with a single, and then King Felix proceeded to throw 4 consecutive walks before getting an out.  With 1 out, Felix walked in another run, and then the Grandyman hit a 2-RBI single, before the inning ended.  Spotting us a 4-run lead was just what Doug Fister (I hardly know her!) needed to boost his confidence.  Two more insurance runs in the top of the ninth, made it 6-1, and Fister cruised for 8+ innings, giving up only 1, until giving up back-to-back solo jacks to Jim Thome and David Ortiz in the bottom of the 9th.  With the score at 6-3, Grant Balfour came in and got the save, albeit while giving up another run.
Torto wins 6-4
WP - D.Fister; LP - F.Hernandez; Save - G.Balfour
HR - J.Thome, D.Ortiz

Torto wins series 2-1

Later, Mar and I tangled for game one in the hotel, and games 2-3 in the Reagan International Airport terminal.  More details...

Game 1: J.Weaver @ G.Floyd
My Tigers jumped out to a quick lead, scoring 2 in the bottom of the first on a Boring Barton RBI double, and a Jose Bautista sac fly.  A solo shot by Adrien Beltre (4th on the year) made it 3-0 thru the 7th.  Mario finally broke thru on Floyd in the 8th, on a 3-run shot from Birther Luke Scott, to tie it 3-3.  But bottom of the 9th, Mauer led off with a double, and was scored on a Bautista single.  Mario threatened in the 9th with 2 on and 2 out, but couldn't bring the tying run across.
Torto wins 4-3
WP - J.Crain; LP - J.Weaver
HR - A.Beltre, L.Scott

Game 2: C.C.Sebathia @ J.Guthrie
Not much to say in this one - C.C. dominated the entire way, and my rolls went to sleep.  The Tigers managed only 2 hits struck out 8 times.  Mario picked up runs 1 at a time, in the 1st, 3rd, 6th, and 9th.
Mario wins 4-0
WP - C.C. Sebathia (CG); LP - J.Guthrie
HR - none

Game 3: C.Pavano @ J.Pineiro
The rubber match was a dogfight all the way, and lasted 13 innings, ending about 15 minutes before our plane was boarding. Both teams piled on 3 runs in the 4th, and both starters got chased by the end of the 5th.  Mario got all of his first 5 runs on 4 home runs and a single. The Tigers got theirs by slapping the ball around the field and using The Rabbits (Pierre, Granderson, Span, Andrus, and Hudson) to use their speed running all over the bases.   With the game tied 5-5 after 5, the bats went quiet for both teams all the way into extra innings.  My guys threatened in the 11th, on a leadoff walk to Pierre, but he couldn't get sent around.  Finally in the 13th, The Rabbits struck again - Grandy walked, O-Dog advanced him over on a ground ball, Pierre beat out a bunt to put runners on the corners, and Andrus bunted Grandy home on a suicide squeeze - taking full advantage of Miguel Cabrera's D-range on a 'Tough Play?" roll. 
Torto wins 6-5 in 13 innings
WP - K.Uehara; LP - B.Logan
HR - A.Callaspo, V.Wells, N.Swisher, M.Cabrera

Torto takes series 2-1, pushing my overall record to 8-4.  Weird to be a 3rd of the way done already, but there it is.  Watch out for The Rabbits - 20 SBs in 12 games!  Catch 'em if you can AL catchers!
Flopsy (Span), Mopsy (Granderson), Cotton-tail (Andrus), and Peter (Pierre) congregate around home plate, their favorite place to meet this season.

Monday, July 25, 2011


(Fans riot in front of The PTP Archives Building in Orion, WI, demanding the release of the PTP record book)


Any chance of linking or putting up some all-time records? I don't give a shit if it is incomplete. I'd like to see what they are, plus see how Torres and J. Johnson did. Heath Bell 11 saves. Record? Anyone else interested in seeing these?

You see what the lesbians said...Protect your poop shoot!! That's a little pre-playoff shit-talkin' right there, I tell you what!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011


Here are my final NL stat leaders:
Andres Torres - .376 (56-149)
I-Rod - .347 (33-95)
Ryan Braun - .279 (43-154)

Ryan Braun - 7
Scott Rolen - 6
Ryan Howard - 5
Jay Bruce - 5

Ryan Braun - 25
Jay Bruce - 23
Ryan Howard - 23
Scott Rolen - 21

Ryan Braun - 25
Andres Torres - 22
Scott Rolen - 20

Stolen Bases
Andres Torres - 9
Jimmy Rollins - 4

Brett Meyers - 6
Josh Johnson - 4

Heath Bell - 0.59 (15.1 IP)
Josh Johnson - 3.28 (71.1 IP)
Brett Meyers - 3.63 (52.0 IP)

Heath Bell - 11
Tim Stauffer - 2

Josh Johnson - 83 *Gotta be a new PTP record for K's in a season
Chris Carpenter - 44

Overall as a team:

.274 AVE
32 HR (terrible with this lineup)
161 RBI
19 SB
107 BB
145 K

3.62 ERA
325 K (363.1 IP)
115 BB
31 HR Allowed
7 CG

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Random Thoughts...


1. As fun as PTP is, the backbone of the league - in my mind - are APD's. As much as I enjoy getting together to roll a series over a couple of beers, its the constant banter, 11am buzz and chaos of an APD that really trips my trigger. I know summer's tough, but a Tort Fort weekend is in order..in September if we can't make it happen sooner.

2. I received money from Torto, Fish and Spencer for the AL. If you still owe me $10 please plan on bringing it the next time I see you. As "league treasurer," I am authorized to hunt you down and kill you if payment is not received prior to my playoff elimination (it happens blindingly fast, I must warn you).

3. Looks like Youks is up to some of his old tricks again. Check this out if you haven't seen it already: http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/articles/kevin-youkilis-puts-signup-sheet-for-threesome-in,20894/

Spencer Sweeps, my pretty! Heheheheheh!

(Looks like my ex-girlfriend! Yowzas!!)

Keither auto-played Goldy's team yesterday so we could finish up the regular season and begin the playoffs. Here is a short recap of what happened.

Spencer played his entire bench in the starting lineup, with a few starters. Andres Torres did play so he didn't cheap his way to a batting title.

Game 1 Mike Pelfry @ Derek Lowe

Ryan Braun's RBI single in the 7th won the game for Spencer. Spencer wins 4-3

W - Lowe 7.0, 7H, 4W, 3ER, 3K

L - Razor Ramon Ramirez - 1.0, 2H, W, 1ER

S - Heath Bell - 1.0, H, 2K

HR - Juan Uribe

Game 2 Timmy Hudson @ Josh Johnson

Spencer dominated the game until the 9th inning, when Gold Keither scored 5 runs off of Hisanori Takahashi to tie the game at 9-9. Ryan The Riot's RBI single in the 11th won the game for Spencer. Spencer wins 10-9 in 11 innings **Josh Johnson struckout 9 batters to up his PTP record setting SO total to 83 on the year in 8 starts.

W - Tim Stauffer - 2.0, 2H, 2K

L - J.A. Happ (Jap) - 0.1, W, H, ER

HR - Steve Drew, Hunter Pence (underpants), Al Pujols

Game 3 Cole Hamels @ Christoph Carpenter

Derrek Lee's second HR of the game in the bottom of the 9th won it for Spencer. Spencer scores three runs on three solo jacks. Spencer wins 3-2

W - Carpenter CG, 9H, 2ER, 5W, 8K

L - Razor Ramon Ramirez 0.0, H, ER, HR

HR - Derrek Lee (2), I-Rod

Keither played his balls off and every game came down to the wire. Glad to see my bench players step up with the regular playing time. Spencer's team is HOT HOT HOT heading into the playoff showdown with border rival Torto.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Kicking KC to the Kurb in Kauffman

Will the Goldy's Royals draw like this all season?  The answer is 'yes' if the defense is this bad...
Not feeling like doing anything productive on Sunday evening, Goldy and I met up at my chaotic homestead for a 3-game tilt.  I was eager to get back on track after losing my opening series to Keith and them gal-durn Texas Rangers, and Goldy was excited to get a fresh start with a new and improved team. But Ben was seemingly irritated with me from the get-go (when I first won the Home-Away roll, and then jokingly differed my choice), and things just went downhill from there for Mr. Goldsworthy.  Much like Keith seems to have my number,  I seem to have Ben's.  Here's what went down.

Game 1: D.Fister @ C.J.Wilson
The game opened up in most annoying fashion for the hometown Royals, with Juan Pierre drawing a walk, then stealing 2nd, and rolling over to 3rd on a bad C.J.Wilson pickoff throw.  He was promptly scored by a Boring Daric Barton single.  A solo shot in the 3rd by Adrian Beltre made it 2-0, but Goldy struck back with a Torii Hunter solo blast, 2-1. Both starters went 7 innings before calling it a night, but my squad managed 2 more insurance runs in the 8th and 9th, one in part due to a rare Carl Crawford error, while the setup/closer combo of Balfour and Uehara closed it out.
Torto W 4-1
WP- D.Fister; LP - C.J.Wilson; Save - K.Uehara
HR - A.Beltre, T.Hunter

Game 2: G.Floyd @ C.Lewis
Another annoying start to this game for the home team, as Boring Barton walked, Jesus Mauer singled, and then Joey Bats hit a comebacker to Colby Lewis who proceeded to airmail the throw into the RF corner for a 2-base error.  Goldy immediately struck back though, with a 2-run Nelson Cruz HR to tie it up.  The Tigers would not be denied though, and scored another pair in the 2nd (on a base-clearing O-Dog triple and a Juan Pierre soft groundout), and then one run in each of the 4,5, 6, and 9th innings - including a Grandy-man 435-foot Deep Drive HR to dead center field.  ***Bizarre Alert*** With the Royals already getting frustrated in this series, Craig Breslow plunked Adrien Beltre and a brawl ensued, wherein Beltre kicked Breslow and was ejected and suspended for 3-games.  Neither player was injured***
Goldy managed another 3 runs off Gavin, after he went 7+ innings, when Balfour and Uehara again closed things down. 
Torto W 8-5
WP - G.Floyd; LP - C.Lewis; Save - K.Uehara
HR - C.Granderson, N.Cruz

Game 3:  J.Guthrie @ F.Liriano
Yet another tough start for Ben, as Cap'n Paully Konerko hit a 2-run blast in the opening frame for the early lead.  The Tigers scored again in the 5th on an RBI-single from Jhonny Peralta (replacing the suspended Beltre).  A Jeremy Guthrie pickoff throw error allowed Crawford to move up to 2nd and score on an RBI single from Cruz in the bottom of the 5th, but I guys clawed back two insurance runs in the top of the 8th on back-to-back Mauer and Konerko doubles.  With my elite relievers unavailable for this game, Kevin Slowey was given the 8th and 9th to close things out.  After a shakey 8th, where he yielded back the 2 insurance runs and creating his own save opportunity, he closed out the 9th cleanly.
Torto W 5-3
WP - J.Guthrie; LP - F.Liriano; Save - K.Slowey
HR - P.Konerko

Torto sweeps series 3-0.

This was a tough one for Goldy to stomach.  His rolls were generally brutal, and hit the high 900s an awful lot.  In addition, his "B-rolls" were even more brutal, while mine were quite good.  In one game he managed to roll the zeroes 3 times after getting the error roll.  He managed 5 errors in the series, and was caught stealing twice.  Translation - sooner or later this guy's going to have one of those games where he rolls nothing but 120s and 190s.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Keith visiting Fish at Keith's House

Keith and I hooked up for some early work week PTP while the Mrs. V. was away on work. Keith’s body was rocked – and not in a good way:

Game 1: Scherzer vs. Cahill
Fish took an early lead in the bottom of the 2nd with a 2 run job by Justin Morneau. Keith tied the game in the top of the 3rd with a solo home run by Coke Head Hamilton, and took a commanding 4-2 lead in the 4th on a two run double by Lance Berkman. JD Drew hit a solo home run in the bottom of the 4th, and with the score tied in the bottom of the 11th – he hit a two run double to win the game. Fish wins 6-4
Win – Soria
Loss – Capps
HR’s – Morneau, Hamilton, Drew

Game 2: Hughes vs. Price
Let’s just talk about the 7th inning. Keith tied the game 1-1 on a solo home run from D. Young. He then proceeded to give up 9 runs in the bottom of the frame, with JD Drew hitting a 3 run job. Enough said Fish wins 11-3.
Win – Price
Loss – Hughes
HR’s – D. Young, Drew

Game 3: Verlander vs. Braden
This was a pitcher duel. Braden went 8 innings of 1 run ball, giving up 5 hits and 1 walk and 9 strike outs. Verlander went the distance, giving up 2 runs (both solo jacks) 6 hits, 1 walk and 0 strike outs. The two solo home runs was Keith’s undoing. Fish wins 2-1
Win – Braden
Loss – Verlander
Save – Thorton
HR’s – Morneau, Guerrero
Fish wins the series 3-0