Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Rocky Start

Despite a roster oozing with talent, the Colorado Rockies have stumbled out to a 1-5 start following a disappointing six game home stand.

“Obviously not the way we wanted to start the year,” shares undisputed team leader Chris Carpenter. “But a couple of breaks and we’d be looking at a 6-0 start. Skip will get us back on track.”

The team remains extraordinarily optimistic the season will turn around quickly, largely due to this balanced clubhouse, featuring an impressive array of five-tool veterans and up-and-comers….

Starting Lineup
Justin Upton -OF
Jay Bruce - OF
Jon Jay – OF
David Freese – 3B
Troy Tulowitzki – SS
Daniel Murphy – 2B
Michael Morse – 1B
Ramon Hernandez – C

James Loney
Dan Uggla
Dexter Fowler
Miguel Tejada
Eli Whiteside

Chris Carpenter
Madison Bumgartner
Matt Garza
Kyle Lohse
Ryan Dempster

Craig Kimbrel
Josh Johnson
Marc Rzepczynski
Heath Bell
Brian Wilson
Octavio Dotel
Leo Nunez

Monday, January 30, 2012


Big Panda Pablo Sandoval, Matt Holliday, Chase Utley and a cast of others help power Nick in 3-0 sweep against league nice guy, Carlo.

***EDITORIAL***The series was fun to play, well-mannered and balanced perfectly between compliments and apologizing. Games two and three were played, gangsta style, on paper with crooked lines drawn in. For as much time as I sit around thinking about PTP, you'd think I'd have a clean set of charts and a few scoresheets. Nope...only loose-leaf paper will do for Carlo and I.***

GAME ONE: Dustin Mosely v Zack Greinke

Six doubles and a Pablo Sandoval three-run homer helped power Nick’s Mets past Carlo’s squad in game one. Zack Greinke was not sharp, lasting just four innings and surrendering seven runs. Mets starting pitcher Dustin Mosely was hit around, but earned a complete game win, pitching to contact all night. Matt Holliday hit two doubles and drove in a run. In the loss Matt Kemp hit two doubles and drove in two runs.


W – Mosely, L – Greinke

GAME TWO: Vance Worley v Mike Leake

Ryan Hannigan broke up a 6-6 tie in the bottom of the eighth inning with a base shot that plated, Chase Utley, the eventual winning run. The Mets hammered Car’s starter, Mike Leake, for six runs, all earned, in the second inning. Sandoval hit another long ball, his third on the year, while Josh Thole, Vance Worley and Alex Presley all singled in runs. Carlo’s team tied the game in the seventh, scoring all six runs, off a tired Vance Worley and shaky reliever Christhian Martinez. Neil; Walker and Ryan Howard each homered for Carlo in the loss.


W – Martinez, L – Kerry Wood, SV – Storen

GAME THREE: Mat Latos v Anibal Sanchez

A five run sixth and a three run seventh provided much of the Mets’ offensive punch in a game three, 11-3 blowout. The win is the Mets sixth straight to start the fresh season. Alex Presley hit a triple, a double and drove in four runs, while Chase Utley added four hits, two RBI and a stolen base. For Carlo, Neil Walker had two hits and two RBI. Latos lasted just five innings for the Mets, but four relievers - including the game’s winner Drew Storen - pitched the other 4 innings nearly flawlessly.


W – Storen, L – A. Sanchez

***Stats watch...Matt Holliday and Pablo Sandoval each have a 6-game hitting streak going. So that's fun. Of course, now that I typed this out, they will each go hitless in their next game.***

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Marlins Come Home, Mario Masticated

Mar swung by the Tortomasi estate Sunday afternoon. Despite some Sunday Wells-Fargo work-related interference, games got played.  Mar won the traditional home-away roll, and selected to keep playing on the road.  And so, the Marlins finally got their home opener.

Billy impales Don Shula's arrogant head during the ceremonial opening pitch at legendary Florida Stadium
Game 1: R.Vogelsong @ I.Kennedy
A pitchers' duel all the way to the end, both Vogelsong and Kennedy pitched gems.  Mar got on the board on an unearned run, after a Ryan TheRiot error put a man on, and later that inning, was scored by a Starlin Castro single.  Things got rough for Mar in the 8th, after he had pulled his starter the inning prior.  Ernesto Friereri had a rough one in relief, walking Prince and McCann, and then allowing a game-tying RBI-single from Chris Heisey.  To add insult to injury, after getting his 2nd out, Friereri gave up a 3-run blast to Ryan TheRiot (of the 3-point HR zone vs. RHPs).  With the game 4-1, Torto unleashed closer Sergio Romo who got thru the 9th unscathed.
Torto W 4-1

Game 2: J.Karstens @ J.Collmenter
Another pitchers' duel up front, this one got wild at the end.  Torto plated a run in the 2nd (McCann RBI-double), and again in the 5th (RBI single by TheRiot).  Up 2-0, things got away from Mar in the 8th again, with Ernest Friereri on the mound again.  A nightmarish inning, in this sequence - Out, BB, SB, 1B, HR (Prince), BB, 2B, 2B, Out, 1B, Out.  That mess lead to 6 runs, and an 8-0 deficit for Mario in the 9th.  With Matt Belisle on the mound, Mar made game of things, rattling off 6-runs of his own and batting around in order before Starlin Castro cost him his final out.
Torto W 8-6  

Game 3: R.A.Dickey @ H.Kuroda
Yet another pitchers' duel, but this one held thru to the end.  The story here was Hiroki Kuroda, as he went 8 dominant innings, allowing only 2 hits and 1 walk.  The Marlins got 3-runs off a solid Rah Dickey performance, allowing only an RBI-double by Rollins, and solo HRs by Chris Heisey and Lucas Duda. Romo slammed the 1-2-3 door in the 9th.
Torto W 3-0

Torto wins series 3-0. 

Some Marlins fun-facts in this young season:
- Ryan Theriot and his two game-winning HRs already has him outplaying his paygrade massively
- Mike Stanton continues to struggle, but cut down his K-rate, only striking out twice in these 3 games
- Prince's power is 'as-advertised', with 4 HRs in 9 games
- The front 4 starters have been phenomenal, with the worst ERA coming in at 2.51 from Josh Collmenter

Thursday, January 26, 2012


(above: The Fun Loving 86 Mets)

Exuberant new 2012 squad gains a 3-O sweep, on the road, over a talented Dodgers team.

A Spencer-Nick rivalry aint a Spencer-Nick rivalry without a low-scoring, extra innings pitcher's dual and game provided just that. Mat Latos and Yovanni Gallardo each dueled 7+ innings, leaving a tied game for the bullpens to sort out. The Big Panda, Pablo Sandoval, untied the game in the top of 11 off reliever Ryan Madsen on a base-shot after a Matt Holliday (3x5 on the day), one-out double. Sandoval actually drove in both runs, plating Nyjer Morgan in the first. Drew Storen and J.J. Putz eached pitched two perfect innings for the Mets. In the loss, Albert Pujols collected three hits and Carlos Ruiz added two, despite being injured for 5 games on a fouled-tip.
W- Putz, L- Madsen

Tied 3-3 in the seventh, Chase Utley drove in a two-run double that proved to be the difference in a game two, 8-5 win. The Mets added two more runs in the eighth on, wildly enough, two triples, one from the newly-bearded Joey Votto and another from pinch hitter Bryan "Lacy" Peterson). Off to a great 2012 start, Pablo Sandoval blasted a three-run homer in first. For Spencer, Carlos Beltran went 2x3 with a homer and Danny Espinosa also hit a round-tripper. Christian Martinez was roughed-up in one inning of work, but collected the win, while Drew Storen shut the door.
W - Martinez, L - Melancon, SV - Storen

For a couple seasons, many PTP owners have avoided lefties all-together until recently when, of course, Fish said it was okay. Lemmings! Game three's 11-2 drubbing may get the "right-right-right" camp even more fuel for the fire. Southpaw Cole Hammels was abused for eight earned, lasting just two innings, while right-hander (and WIAC grad) Jordan Zimmerman sailed to a win. Beard-convert Joey Votto had five hits (record?) and a walk. Lefty killer, Mark Kotsay, added three hits. Each starter had at least one hit. For Spencer, John Buck had two hits and Dee Gordon drove in a run with a double. Aaron Harang, professional mopper, tossed an effective seven innings in relief.
W - Zimmerman, L - Hamels

Monday, January 23, 2012

Marlins On the Road for 6, Homer Their Way to 5 Wins

The Mermaids can't wait for Coach T and his Marlins to get back home for some games
Game 1: Halladay at Carpenter
Solid pitchers’ duel to open the season. Home runs were the difference in this one. Prince Fielder crushed the first HR of the young PTP season off Carp in the 3rd, for a 3-run blast. Keither got 3 back off Halladay in the bottom half of the 3rd, in the strength of 3-straight hits, followed by some sac bunting and flying. Bats went quiet the the rest of the game, with both pitchers going the distance. Unlikely power threat, Ryan Theriot belted a 9th inning HR off Carpenter, and Halladay got the CG with a 1-2-3 bottom of the 9th.
Torto W 4-3

Game 2: Kennedy at Bumgarner
All Torto in this one against Keith’s southpaw, Madison Bumgarner. J.D. Martinez got things started with a solo shot in the 1st, then followed it up with a 3-run shot in the 7th. Theriot picked up a pair of RBIs on an single in the same frame. Game over.
Torto W 6-1

Game 3: Collmenter at Garza
Lots of scoring in game 3, started off with Keith’s first HR of the season, a Mike Morse 2-run shot. Plenty of scoring followed, leaving the game at 7-6 Torto after 8 innings. The Marlins picked up a pair of insurance runs in the top of the 9th, on a Brian McCann deep drive turned to a wind-aided triple into deep left-center in Coors field. Keith fought back in the bottom of the 9th, getting a 2-run pinch hit HR from Jay Bruce off my closer, Sergio Romo, only to have the top of his order go down quietly after that, 1-2-3.
Torto W 9-8
Torto wins series 3-0

Goldy stopped over at Casa de Torto on Saturday afternoon, where his lifetime record was 0-6. Slobbery dogs and the boisterous noise of Jax and Jace have created a strong home field advantage.

Game 1: Kuroda at Beachy
The Marlin’s HR power was on display for this one, as Torto got 4 balls to leave Pac-Bell/AT&T Park (Princey, Stanton, Heisey, and JD Martinez). Kuroda pitched 7 innings of high-WHIP, shutout ball, getting great help from double play balls and terrible Goldy B-Rolls. Goldy’s Giants mustered 3-runs off Kuroda’s successor , lefty long, John Lannon, but it was too little too late.
Torto W 10-3

Game 2: Saunders at Lincecum
Goldy brought out the 1st half of the ‘Cum brothers for game 2, and got his first win at Torto’s house, and the first win of the young season. The Giants jumped all over Average Joe Saunders getting 4 runs in 2 innings (including a HR from Sparkles Denorfia) before Torto’s quick hook pulled the guy for his top flight long reliever, Tyler Clippard. Goldy picked up another 3-runs off Clip, but Torto managed to chip away a bit, on a 4th inning 3-run McCann HR, a run-scoring Princey groundout, and a McCann RBI single. Goldy used Bill Brasky Bray and Kensley Jansen to shut it down the rest of the way.
Goldy W 7-5

Game 3: Halladay at Marcum
Halladay was on again, as was Marcum, setting up a terrific Game 3 pitchers’ duel. Goldy got to Halladay in the first for a single run, on a B-Phillips RBI-single. That was all he’d get. After several failed deep drive attempts off Marcum, Prince Fielder finally got it done in the 6th, taking a Marcum pitch 420 feet deep into the left center seats for a 2-run shot. That’s all the scoring that was needed for Halladay to go the distance (2nd straight CG), who retired 12 or the final 14 batters for the win.
Torto wins 2-1
Torto wins series 2-1

Some fun Marlins stats thru 6 games:
1) The squad's pop has been 'as advertised' so far - 10 HRs including 3 for Prince, and 3 for JD Martinez (in only 6 AB)
2)  Princey has only 4 hits on the season, all xtra-base hits - 3 HRs and a 2B
3)  Stanton is well on pace to break the single season record for strikeouts (set by Stanton last season with 55), with 13 already.
4)  Defense has been surprisingly respectable, only 1 error.  Numerous hits given up on ranges in the OF though...
5)Clippard has already been got to a few times, but is still striking fools out at a 19.3 per 9IP rate

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Say hello to Miss Minute Maid...you don't have a chance in her park!

Houston, allow me to present your 2011 Houston Astros! We are proud that all of our vitamin C is provided with tons of unnecessary fructose, sucrose and aspartame thanks to Minute Maid products. Minute Maid products are refreshing. Minute Maid products will control your mind. Minute Maid products are produced naturally in a lab - taste that lab freshness!

Below are the fine specimens drafted this season. The stand out is MVP and HIPPA spokesman Ryan Braun, the #2 pick in the draft. Let's get down to business.

In the Field:
1b - Freddie Freeman
1b - Derek Lee
2b - Rickie Weeks
SS - Starlin Castro
3b - Emilio Bonifacio
LF - Ryan Braun
CF - Michael Bourn
CF - Cameron Maybin
RF - Jason Heyward
RF - Seth Smith
RF - Alfonso Soriano
C - Ryan Doumit
C - Jonathon Lucroy

Starting Pitchers:
Johnny Cueto
Ryan Vogelsong
Jeff Karstens
R.A. Dickey
Jaime Garcia

LR - Homer Bailey
LR - Steve Cishek
LR - Ernesto Frieri
SR - Brad Ziegler
SR - Wilton Lopez
Setup - Jonny Venters
Closer - Francisco Rodriquez

Greg Dobbs
Martin Prado
Mike Fontenot
Eric Hinske

C'mon, Join the Joyride!

The 2012 San Francisco Giants are looking to have a super season and based on the roster assembled for this season, it should be quite a ride. Defense? We have it. Power? Not so much. Wacky pitching cards? You bet.

After leading the 2011 Kansas City Royals to the playoffs manager Goldy is looking to do the same with this group of has-beens and never-will-bes. In between taking hits from the bong, reserve catcher Geovany Soto noted, "The locker room is all cool, bro. Manager Goldy lays down the vibe with some Crucial Conflict over the stereo and we're all good. I'm stoked bro." Fellow Giant, and stoner, Time Lincecum is also "stoked". "Bro, did you see Sammy Sosa is back to having white skin? We totally win the World Series when Sammy looks like an albino, dude." said Lincecum as he downed a Red Bull and Vodka. Lincecum is also thrilled to team up with fellow starter Shaun Marcum to form "The 'Cum Brothers". All members of San Francisco's alternative lifestyle communities will receive free "Cum Brothers" t-shirts with paid admission.

The Giants are also running several great promotions at the ball park this season. Free shots of Jack Daniels Honey Bourbon every time the designated "Gold Cobra" batter of the game gets a hit for the Giants. Additionally, Chris Denorfia has decided to change his name this season to Sparkles, Professional Male Model. For every hit Sparkles gets, The Giants will provide one lucky fan with a $60 voucher which is good to cover the cost of enrollment at Handsome Boy Modeling School. Finally, following ever Giants Home Run, a stage will rise out of San Francisco Bay and Roxette will play a song from their catalogue of hits while wearing meat helmets. Should be a wonderful season.

In the Field

1B: Jesus "The Jesus" Guzman

2B: Brandon Phillips

SS: Jose Reyes

3B: Placido Polanco

OF: Shane Victorino

OF: Gerardo "Rico Suave" Parra

OF: Andre Ethier

OF: Sparkles, Professional Male Model

UTL: John Mayberry

UTL: Jerry Hairston

UTL: Jonathan Herrera

C: Miguel Montero

C: Geovany Soto

SP1: Brandon "Son of a" Beachy

SP2: Tim Lincecum

SP3: Shaun Marcum

SP4: Tommy Hanson

CB5: Jhoulys Chacin

LR: "Magic" Wandy Rodriguez

SR: Rex Brothers

SR: Aroldis "322 point strikeout zone" Chapman

SR: Ramon Ramirez

SR: Kenley Jansen

SR: Billy "Brasky" Bray

CL: John Axford


Humberto Quintero - C

Darwin Barney - INF

Henry Rodriguez - LR

Jonathan Sanchez - SP

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

New Look Marlins Ready to Impale all Comers

Billy sez 'Enjoy my Amazing Technicolor Sail Fin, while I stick this bill in your eye"
The 2012 Marlins are looking to close out their final season in that bastion of baseball tradition, Florida/Dolphin/SunLife/Joe Robbie Stadium, with a bang.  Nothing short of a legacy building 2nd World Series title for manager Jon Tortomasi will do.  "Skipper T got us there last season, but we just came up short", said Tortomasi loyalist and power hitter Mike Stanton.  "This year, we finish it."  Team captain Prince Fielder is excited to be on board a team with World Series aspirations, "This team can make it, we've got what it takes."  Big words from a pair of very big men.  Neither player would comment on the new and terrible 'rainbow color scheme'. The Marlin's roster this season is platoon heavy, with plenty of pop, and an embarrassment of riches at catcher and shortstop.

In the field:
1B - Princey Fielder
2B - Ryan 'TheRiot' / Omar Infante
3B - Miguel Cairo
SS - Jimmy 'Ro-Ro' Rollins / Hanley Ramirez
OF1 - Big Mike Stanton
OF2 - Lucas 'Camptown Ladies Sing this Song' Duda
OF3 - Chris Heisey
OF4 - Julio Daniel (JD) Martinez
OF5 - Carlos 'El Caballo' Lee
C1 - Brian McCann 
C2 - Chris Ianetta 'the Beretta'
C3 - Rod Barajas

The Starting 5:
Roy "Doc" Halladay
Ian Kennedy
Josh Collmenter
Hiroki Kuroda
'Average Joe' Saunders

The 'Pen:
Sergio Romo
Tyler Clippard
Jeremy Affeldt
Matt Belisle
LaTroy Hawkins
John Lannon

The Minors:
Jack Wilson - IF
Carlos Pena - 1B
Jeff Keppinger - 2B
Paul Maholm - SP

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Your 2012 PTP Brooklyn Dodgers



Starting Pitchers
Cole Hamels
Cliff Lee
Tim Hudson
Yovanni Gallardo
Kyle Kendrick

Joel Hanrahan
Ryan Madsen
Javy Guerra
Mark Melancon
Aaron Harang
Randy Wolf

CF - Andrew McCutchen
SS - Dee Gordon
1B - Al Pujols
LF - Carlos Beltran
3B - Ryan Zimmerman
2B - Dan Espinosa
C - Carlos Ruiz
RF - Rick Ankiel

Chipper Jones - 3B
Nate Schierholtz & Associates - OF
Gaby Sanchez - 1B
Angel Sanchez - UTIL
Angel Pagan - OF
John Buck - C

Charles Morton - SP
Budrick Norris - SP
Ronny Cedeno - SS/2B
Scott Rolen - 3B

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Fresh Valencia Oranges!!! $.99 / dozen. Keither @ Spencer

With the series between border rivals, Keith and Spencer, Keither ends his pitiful season, ans Spencer nears yet another playoff berth. Here's the skinny....

Game 1 Phil Hughes @ Cliff Lee

Keither battered around the Big Red Dog as V-Mart and Adam Rosales connected for solo bombs, and chased Lee from the game following an offensive barrage in the 6th that scored three runs for Keither.
Spencer managed just a solo bomb from A-Rod and RBI fielder's choice from Big Tex.

W - Hughes 7.2, 6h, 2w, 2er, 3k
L - Lee 6.0, 7h, 5er, 2w, 8k, 2hr
S - Frasor 1.1, h, w, 2k
HR - Rosales, V-Mart, A-Rod

Game 2 MVP Verlander @ Cla Buchholtz

Ultimate pitchers duel in this one. A-Rod's solo bombjack in the 6th was the only run.
SPENCER WINS 1-0. Bucholtz + Joaquin Benoit + Chris Perez = Keither loss

W - Buchholtz 6.1, 7h, w, 6k
L - Verlander CG, 5H, er, 10k, w
S - Perez 1.0, 2K

GAME 3 Jon Lester the Molester @ Mexican Mafia Garza

Keither scored early and often in the 1st as Garza got walk happy. However, Lester had the yips as well, and gave up three in the bottom of the 1st to tie the game 3-3.
Crack Hamilton hit a solo HR to regain the lead for Keith, but Grandyman answered that with a HR in the 3rd to tie the game at 4-4.
To make a long story short, the game went back and forth into extras. Derek Jeter ended up catching the last couple of innings due to pinch-hitting and an injury to Alexi Avila.
In the 11th, a Derek Jeter throwing error at catcher allowed Da Meat Hooks brother to score the winning run. Danny Valencia had 5 hits for Keither in the game.
KEITHER WINS - 7-6 in 11

W - Bailey
L - Jackson
S - Frasor
HR - Grandyman, Druggy Hamilton

Good series from Keither. My team continues to skid into the playoffs having lost 2 of 3 from Mario and 2 of 3 from Keither now.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

NL Season Approaches

Once I was in the PTP playoffs, a couple years ago. It was fun.

(better posts will follow. peace.)

2010 AL Playoff Picture Update - Clarity thru W-L Tracking

After the big New Year's Eve-Eve APD, we now have a clear playoff picture.  Clear, as in who in IN, and who is OUT.  Here's where we stand:

With Goldy beating Keith 2-1 on Friday night, and his dominance over Nick (winning 4 out of 6), he clinched clinched his first ever playoff spot. Congrats to you sir.
And with Spencer getting his 19th win of the season over Mario (despite losing the series), he clinched a spot as well.   Fish and myself were in prior to any play on Friday.

So what can happen from here?  The seedings are still very much up for grabs.  Spencer can sew up the top seed with 3 more wins, as he holds the tie-break vs. Fish.  Goldy can slide into the #3 seed, if he wins 2 out of 3 vs. Spencer, as he holds the tiebreaker over Torto (3-3 season series tie, but edge in total runs 28-23). 

And for the record, Nick - who kept claiming all evening that this was the first season he ever missed the playoffs, has a short memory.  He first missed the playoffs during the NL 2009 season, with a sub-500 record of 19 and 23.