Thursday, January 19, 2012

Say hello to Miss Minute don't have a chance in her park!

Houston, allow me to present your 2011 Houston Astros! We are proud that all of our vitamin C is provided with tons of unnecessary fructose, sucrose and aspartame thanks to Minute Maid products. Minute Maid products are refreshing. Minute Maid products will control your mind. Minute Maid products are produced naturally in a lab - taste that lab freshness!

Below are the fine specimens drafted this season. The stand out is MVP and HIPPA spokesman Ryan Braun, the #2 pick in the draft. Let's get down to business.

In the Field:
1b - Freddie Freeman
1b - Derek Lee
2b - Rickie Weeks
SS - Starlin Castro
3b - Emilio Bonifacio
LF - Ryan Braun
CF - Michael Bourn
CF - Cameron Maybin
RF - Jason Heyward
RF - Seth Smith
RF - Alfonso Soriano
C - Ryan Doumit
C - Jonathon Lucroy

Starting Pitchers:
Johnny Cueto
Ryan Vogelsong
Jeff Karstens
R.A. Dickey
Jaime Garcia

LR - Homer Bailey
LR - Steve Cishek
LR - Ernesto Frieri
SR - Brad Ziegler
SR - Wilton Lopez
Setup - Jonny Venters
Closer - Francisco Rodriquez

Greg Dobbs
Martin Prado
Mike Fontenot
Eric Hinske


  1. We voted that every time you say "Seth Smith" it has to be said with a lisp, correct? Also, I think some of those guys in your bullpen are just made up names.

  2. Yeah, isn't that Frieri guy the annoying host of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives?

    And doesn't Minute Maid import most of their juice from Brazil? Just what are you trying to pull here?


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