Are You Not Entertained?

Fish is not much of a movie buff. In fact, for about a decade in the late 90’s, early 00’s, I believe the only two movies he watched (outside of the Star Wars and Indiana Jones trilogies) were The Gladiator and, sadly, Castaway.

Our matchup last Saturday brought to mind one of the closing scenes of The Gladiator. The Emperor, losing credibility amongst the people to the popular Spaniard, chose to fight him one-on-one. Just before the battle, however, he confronts Maximus, ruthlessly stabbing him in the back of the shoulder with a shiv to even out the fight.

Let’s just say I was the Emperor, after years of dominating PTP Fish played the role of the Gladiator, and that rancid PTP draft job we pulled on Fish was the shiv…..

Game 1 – Dempster @ Kershaw

Dempster, surprisingly, held his own against the sexy southpaw , handing a 1-1 ballgame to Josh Johnson in the 7th inning (runs scored on RBI doubles by Jay Bruce (Keith) and Hunter Pence (Fish), respectively). In the 8th and the 9th, however, Justin Upton broke the game open, crushing a two-run and a three-run homerun in consecutive innings. Mike Morse added two RBI’s as Fish forced Kershaw to mop up his own mess in the complete game defeat.

Keith wins 8-1

Game 2 – Carpenter @ Cain

We were battling ya’ll. This one went a full 11 ½ innings without a run crossing the plate. Carp went 10 strong and Cain went 9. In the bottom of the 12, typical of the way my season is going, Fish rolled consecutive doubles by Clint Barmes and Johnson (don’t know his first name – doesn’t matter) with two outs to end the game.

Fish wins 1-0 (12)

Game 3 – Bumgartner @ Jurrjens

Fish started strong in the bottom of the first with a three-run jobber by lefty killer Allen Craig. A Danny Murphy RBI double in the 2nd cut the lead to 3-1 and a Tulowitski RBI double in the 6th cut the lead to 3-2 before Fish came back with two runs in the bottom of the 6th on RBI’s by Jamey Carroll and “Oh God, please don’t kill me!” Wilson Ramos. He led 5-2 through seven.

For some reason (nostalgia, I suppose) he decided bringing in Carlos Marmol would be a good idea. After cruising through the 8th, Marmol was tagged for three runs in the top of the 9th, courtesy of jacks by big cocksuckers the likes of Mike Morse and Jay Bruce. I was able to take the game in the top of the 10th thanks to consecutive run scoring doubles by Danny Murphy and “Razor” Ramon Hernandez.

Keith wins 9-5 (10)

Keith wins series 2-1